We've All Been Knocked Down: Here's to Getting Back Up

The theme of the Rocky Balboa movies is this: No matter how many times you get knocked down, get back up again. It's time to Rockergize our lives (that's "Rocky" plus "energize"!).

Everyone gets knocked down by life. I used to think the key to life was to never get knocked down. Living from this standpoint results in avoiding, rather than embracing, uncomfortable situations. Today, I know that the secret lies not in the avoidance of getting knocked down, rather, in the ability to get back up. We can all train ourselves to get back up more and more quickly.

A quick bit about me: I have a rare vocal cord issue called Abductor Spasmodic Dysphonia. Briefly, once they open, my vocal cords do not easily close again. The result is "breathy," "growling," and strained vocalizations. I first noticed the symptoms of this issue around the age of 18, and the symptoms grew (primarily due to my inability to deal with stress in a productive way at that age). By 19, the issue of speech was a daily consternation. 

When first dealing with this issue, I got knocked down a lot. I would be down for over a month at a time before regaining the strength to get back up and face the world again. Now, jump ahead to present day. I still get knocked down. There are days when, by the end of  a full day working with clients, I am utterly exhausted from the effort it takes to speak. However, as I employ the skills listed below, I find that the days of exhaustion are becoming a rarity, and positive, energetic days are becoming the norm. The benefit of these skills is twofold. First, you'll develop confidence in your ability to get back up, and second, the things that used to knock you down will no longer knock you down. Don't get me wrong, we'll still get knocked down, but, we'll be happy to find that it takes more and more to do so.

Here are the specific skills I use in order to regain myself after being knocked down: 

Releasing the Frustration: A punching bag, slam ball, or a tennis racket on a cushion are all great tools. Ideally, we prevent frustration from developing at all (see the skills listed below). However, if we do feel frustration, it must be released from the body. The other option is to ignore it. This makes us a ticking time  bomb. Releasing the bodily sensation of frustration ensures the diffusion of the bomb (we'll learn what science has to say about this concept at my upcoming workshop in May).

Giving Thanks: I can shift myself out of a downward spiral in seconds by giving thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you...for the fact that I have plenty of food. A warm bed. Money to buy the things I need. Clothes. Work. The ability to walk, breathe, see.. Hear. Joke. Play. Connect with friends. Family. A car. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have the awareness to employ this method quickly enough, and frustration cannot develop.

Sitting in Silence: Frustration is exacerbated by over active brain waves. Sitting in silence while breathing in a calm manner slows down the brain waves that keep the cycle of frustration going. I like to imagine the skin, bones, muscles, and organs of my entire body melting into utter relaxation, starting at the top of the skull and running all the way down to the bottom of the feet. Ahhh, slower brain waves. I typically employ this three times a day, as this prevents frustration from reaching a critical mass. 

Writing in a Journal: A great way to build positive energy. A large bank of positive energy acts as a cushion to the soul. That is, the arrows of frustration may fly, but they hit the softness of the thick cushion and fall quietly to the ground, incapacitated. In order to build the positive energy cushion, it's important to journal about things such as: If there were a greater purpose for my problem, what would it be? What can I do for humanity that wouldn't otherwise get done were I not here? What is my mission? The key here is that meaning is what creates the positive energy cushion. 

Talking with Someone: As a man, this was a hard skill to develop. I spent many years suffering in silence during my early twenties. The message I learned growing up was that a real man keeps his problems to himself. It's better to suffer in silence than to talk with someone about your problems. 

Note: Talking about your problems is different than venting or complaining. Talking about your problems looks like this: I'm feeling this way. I'm having this thought. My experience of what's happening is this. Contrast that with complaining or venting: He said this. She did that. She's a bleep. He's a $%^@. Talking about our problems breeds healing. Venting or complaining compounds our frustration. 

So, dear reader, what skill can you implement today in order to more quickly get back up after being knocked down? I see people get knocked down every day by health problems, getting off track from wellness routines, work related stress, relationship related stress, injuries, and a host of other issues. We will get knocked down. However, as we develop skills involved in getting back up, we'll find that the fear of getting knocked down ain't so big and bad. I used to dread a full day of working with people because of the difficulties I have with my vocal cords. Now? My focus no longer lies on dread, rather, it lies at the point of my confidence in my ability to get back up.

Here's to Rockergizing our lives (I know, the word "Rockergize is not corny whatsoever), -Nic

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