We've All Been Knocked Down: Here's to Getting Back Up

The theme of the Rocky Balboa movies is this: No matter how many times you get knocked down, get back up again. It's time to Rockergize our lives (that's "Rocky" plus "energize"!).

Everyone gets knocked down by life. I used to think the key to life was to never get knocked down. Living from this standpoint results in avoiding, rather than embracing, uncomfortable situations. Today, I know that the secret lies not in the avoidance of getting knocked down, rather, in the ability to get back up. We can all train ourselves to get back up more and more quickly.

A quick bit about me: I have a rare vocal cord issue called Abductor Spasmodic Dysphonia. Briefly, once they open, my vocal cords do not easily close again. The result is "breathy," "growling," and strained vocalizations. I first noticed the symptoms of this issue around the age of 18, and the symptoms grew (primarily due to my inability to deal with stress in a productive way at that age). By 19, the issue of speech was a daily consternation. 

When first dealing with this issue, I got knocked down a lot. I would be down for over a month at a time before regaining the strength to get back up and face the world again. Now, jump ahead to present day. I still get knocked down. There are days when, by the end of  a full day working with clients, I am utterly exhausted from the effort it takes to speak. However, as I employ the skills listed below, I find that the days of exhaustion are becoming a rarity, and positive, energetic days are becoming the norm. The benefit of these skills is twofold. First, you'll develop confidence in your ability to get back up, and second, the things that used to knock you down will no longer knock you down. Don't get me wrong, we'll still get knocked down, but, we'll be happy to find that it takes more and more to do so.

Here are the specific skills I use in order to regain myself after being knocked down: 

Releasing the Frustration: A punching bag, slam ball, or a tennis racket on a cushion are all great tools. Ideally, we prevent frustration from developing at all (see the skills listed below). However, if we do feel frustration, it must be released from the body. The other option is to ignore it. This makes us a ticking time  bomb. Releasing the bodily sensation of frustration ensures the diffusion of the bomb (we'll learn what science has to say about this concept at my upcoming workshop in May).

Giving Thanks: I can shift myself out of a downward spiral in seconds by giving thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you...for the fact that I have plenty of food. A warm bed. Money to buy the things I need. Clothes. Work. The ability to walk, breathe, see.. Hear. Joke. Play. Connect with friends. Family. A car. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have the awareness to employ this method quickly enough, and frustration cannot develop.

Sitting in Silence: Frustration is exacerbated by over active brain waves. Sitting in silence while breathing in a calm manner slows down the brain waves that keep the cycle of frustration going. I like to imagine the skin, bones, muscles, and organs of my entire body melting into utter relaxation, starting at the top of the skull and running all the way down to the bottom of the feet. Ahhh, slower brain waves. I typically employ this three times a day, as this prevents frustration from reaching a critical mass. 

Writing in a Journal: A great way to build positive energy. A large bank of positive energy acts as a cushion to the soul. That is, the arrows of frustration may fly, but they hit the softness of the thick cushion and fall quietly to the ground, incapacitated. In order to build the positive energy cushion, it's important to journal about things such as: If there were a greater purpose for my problem, what would it be? What can I do for humanity that wouldn't otherwise get done were I not here? What is my mission? The key here is that meaning is what creates the positive energy cushion. 

Talking with Someone: As a man, this was a hard skill to develop. I spent many years suffering in silence during my early twenties. The message I learned growing up was that a real man keeps his problems to himself. It's better to suffer in silence than to talk with someone about your problems. 

Note: Talking about your problems is different than venting or complaining. Talking about your problems looks like this: I'm feeling this way. I'm having this thought. My experience of what's happening is this. Contrast that with complaining or venting: He said this. She did that. She's a bleep. He's a $%^@. Talking about our problems breeds healing. Venting or complaining compounds our frustration. 

So, dear reader, what skill can you implement today in order to more quickly get back up after being knocked down? I see people get knocked down every day by health problems, getting off track from wellness routines, work related stress, relationship related stress, injuries, and a host of other issues. We will get knocked down. However, as we develop skills involved in getting back up, we'll find that the fear of getting knocked down ain't so big and bad. I used to dread a full day of working with people because of the difficulties I have with my vocal cords. Now? My focus no longer lies on dread, rather, it lies at the point of my confidence in my ability to get back up.

Here's to Rockergizing our lives (I know, the word "Rockergize is not corny whatsoever), -Nic

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Swim Sideways, but Don't Stop!

Sometimes we need to swim sideways.

That's exactly what a client of mine, Shane, did.

Once per week, I take him through a pool workout. What's interesting about this is that he has a bit of a fear of water relating to not getting enough air. Having recently began the pool workouts, we set a goal of swimming four consecutive lengths without stopping.

First try: did not complete four lengths.

Second try: did not complete four lengths.

Now, as a trainer, I don't encourage my clients to go after acute goals they aren't yet physically ready to accomplish. I believed Shane could accomplish this goal. With that said, I was considering the possibility of rounding out the session with a few one or two length intervals with a 20-30 second break between bouts, then coming back to the goal of four consecutive lengths the following week. My gut, however, was saying that the issue was relating more to a mental dynamic than a physical dynamic.

Years prior, he had competed in a triathlon, and someone had given him this advice: swim sideways when you're tired. This allows an athlete to regenerate, as swimming sideways activates a different set of muscles than does the freestyle stroke, AKA the front crawl. After a period of swimming sideways, the triathlete can then return to the freestyle stroke feeling more energized. He repeated this advice to me, and I then repeated it back to him. (Side note: it's interesting that the answers are always within us, yet, we don't always recognize them as answers when in the thick of our dilemma). "This time," I reflected back to him, "do not stop. No matter what. Swim sideways if you need to. But do not stop swimming."

Sometimes I need to swim sideways in life. Specifically, in the areas of starting and developing a new company (Inn8fit- website coming soon!), meeting and forming a relationship with a remarkable woman, and staying connected to God. There are instances when I think, I don't know what in the world I'm doing! The key is that I continue to move forward no matter how awkward or unprepared I feel. No matter how small a step I take, I make a conscious effort to squeeze out every bit of wisdom from the step, and then apply that wisdom moving forward. That is to say, I never get out of the pool!

As I write this, James 1:12 comes to mind: "Blessed are those who persevere under trial..." I've had conversations with a lot of successful people lately in many arenas, including spiritual, financial, business, and relational. The ONE characteristic that arises again and again is perseverance. In other words, viewing failure as part of the overall process. Not allowing trials and setbacks to yield an attitude of giving up, rather, an attitude of learning and then adjusting our approach.

So, in what areas of life do you need to swim sideways? Rephrased, what areas of life are important to you but you don't yet feel comfortable in your efforts pertaining to those areas?  Swim sideways if you have to, but no matter what, don't stop! (To clarify, this doesn't mean never taking time to rest. Instead, "don't stop" refers to consciously keeping oneself in the process of attempting, learning, and gaining wisdom, with the opposing standpoint being completely avoiding those things that are uncomfortable and therefore not growing).

Shane swam the four consecutive lengths on his third attempt. He swam sideways a couple of times, but never stopped moving. The more I continue to move, the more deeply I learn the fact that we must first take a step into the unknown, learn from that step, then apply the newly found wisdom, which makes the step after that higher in quality as a result. Whether our direction is related to exercise, health, business, relationship with God, others, or self, stay in the pool, even if it means you've got to swim sideways.

Living Your Purpose (and my personal dealings with fear)

 In Rocky III,  Rocky's wife, Adrian, confronts him about his half-hearted effort in preparing for the upcoming fight with power-puncher “Clubber” Lang, a fighter who took Rocky out in a previous bout.

Rocky: Just don’t want it no more. (We later discover this is untrue).

Unwilling to accept his answer, Adrian shouts, “Why don’t you tell me the truth!! What’s the truth, dammit!!”

Required: Soul-Searching

Contrary to popular belief, most who are passionately living into their purpose did not begin the journey with ease and luck. Rather, deep soul-searching is a requirement. A sustained examination into who we are and the nature of life and death. The living out of one’s purpose can more accurately be accounted for in this way:

Phase One: Dissatisfaction

A sense that something is “off.”  Deep-seated unhappiness with life.

Phase Two: Longing 

A desire to live a life of meaning. A yearning to use untapped potential.

Phase Three: First Attempt

We try, perceive a bumpy, challenging road ahead, then retreat back to the old life of mundane activity and status quo living.

Phase Four: Flame Reignites

Shortly after retreating, the thirst hits once again. Our soul is parched and needs the quenching of purpose. I can't explain how or why I know, but I absolutely know that I'm here for a purpose.

Phase Five: Dedication to Purpose

We finally understand- either cross the bridge and be dedicated to our purpose with its ebbing and flowing nature, ups and downs, periods of clarity and disillusionment, victories and challenges, OR, live in a constant state of wishing and wanting.

Those who are vehemently living into their purpose no longer wish, no longer want. We are so entrenched in the starkly paramount objective of using our gifts to serve others, there is no time to wish things could be different. Rather, we are the difference; the flesh and blood of the very difference we’ve been longing for.

Purpose: Don't Give Up On It!

Much of the world has given up on discovering their purpose. They've settled into a controllable, unchallenging routine requiring less than half available capabilities to get the job done. On a personal level, I've felt the urging within me to live into my potential for a long time. One word describes why I didn't live into that urging: fear. 

Back to Rocky and Adrian...

Adrian: Why don’t you tell me the truth!! What’s the truth, dammit!!

Rocky: I’m afraid!!! All right!

It’s time to confront fear and choose a new way of life that involves living into our purpose. Don't bury your God-given talents in the dirt out of fear as the servant did in the Gospel of Matthew (chapter 25). Invest them as the other servants did, and know that an investment in our God-given talents is by its very nature threefold:

1. We invest in our own souls. Stagnant water is disease-ridden, whereas flowing water is fresh.Create a state of flow by using your talents.

2. We invest in others. Somebody needs the gift of your God-given talents in action.

3. We invest in a relationship with God. Aspects of God's Spirit previously unknown to us become clear as we invest the talents we've been given.

It took me a long time to commit to running a workshop. Why? I was afraid. I didn't need more time to think about it, but told myself I did. I didn't need more time to develop my abilities, but told myself I did. Didn't need more time to find the perfect venue, but told myself I did. The nature of fear is that we intellectualize our way into a life we a) don't want, and b) were never meant to live. 

Back to you. Despite the existence of fear, how can you live into your purpose more fully? 

Rocky: I'm afraid!! All right!

Adrian: It doesn't matter what I believe, because you're the one that's gotta carry that fear around inside you. It doesn't matter if I tell ya, because you're the one that's gotta settle it. (Watch the complete scene here).

Settle this thing, and live into your purpose today! 

Check out upcoming InspirationRushNow Body Soul Fitness Workshops   Like InspirationRushNow on Facebook 

Want to straighten out your foundational priorities? Check out Stop Meandering, Start Wrestling 

Need inspiration in tackling a big project? Check out Unleash Your Potential with a Mindset Shift

Unleash Your Potential with a Mindset Shift

You are capable of more than you think.

As a personal trainer, I have the privilege of seeing this concept in action on a regular basis. With the right coaching, people consistently do more than they believed they could just two minutes prior.

Stay Process Oriented
A client was using the leg press. First set at 130- piece o' cake. Second set at 150- easy. Third set at 170- attempted one repetition for a duration of one second and said, "Ohhh! Nope!"

Really, now?

I don't think so.

Keep in mind this particular client is a hard worker. A grinder. She pushes herself to intensity levels most people half her age never think about attempting.

"Dawn," (name changed for privacy) "bring more awareness into your glutes, upper hamstrings, and quadriceps" as I patted those areas on my own legs. "Squeeze those areas before beginning the motion, and then start to move the weight."

She knocked out eight repetitions.

It was a challenging set for her, but she went from a mindset of doubt and zero reps to focusing on the mechanics of what would create the result she wanted and hitting eight reps in a matter of two minutes.

170 pounds can seem overwhelming if your focus is solely on the 170 pounds. When you take your mind off the 170 pounds and focus intently on the mechanics, that is, the process leading up to the end product, suddenly what was overwhelming a minute ago is a non-factor. Literally, the "170 pound factor" no longer exists from the point of view of your mind because the focus is elsewhere- namely, on the process.


Ask the Right Questions to Disintegrate Illusions
Focusing on the process, the mechanics, each tiny step, disintegrates the illusion of the end goal's grandiosity. Better to disintegrate the illusion of the objective being unreachable than to disintegrate the belief in the power of the process. One has got to go, as they cannot coexist. Either the belief that the goal is unreachable goes, or the belief in the power of sticking to process, step by step (by step) goes.

In your life, what seemingly unattainable goal do you have? Begin to disintegrate the illusion of its elusiveness. Whether it involves weight loss, personal development, career, dealing with a physical or medical issue, or living out your purpose (your purpose- a topic to be covered in depth during my upcoming Body Soul Fitness workshops in March and May of 2016!), ask questions like what are the mechanics of realizing this goal? Or what next small step do I need to take right now? And, how can I involve myself more deeply in the process and less in the head-trip of the gargantuan image of the goal?

You're capable of more than you think. Make this small shift in mindset, and watch yourself flourish.

You may also like this post: Stop Meandering, Start Wrestling

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Stop Meandering, Start Wrestling

It's better to wrestle with what you value than meander through life. 

Our options are slim pickens. Either we embody our deeply held values, or not. If we choose "not," we will die knowing we didn't make an effort to live out our core values. As a result of her work with people preparing to die, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross established the top five regrets of the dying. The number one regret was this: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

I have two primary core values. They are 1) cultivating a relationship with God, and 2) fusing my God-given talents with serving others. 

What are your core values?

I've found living out my core values does not magically happen without conscious effort. Daily, I must remind myself what my core values are, why they're important to me, and then decide where to invest my time and energy for the day based on those two areas. Without this ongoing reminder, I meander. Get caught up in the agendas of others. Waste the day scrolling through Facebook or watching a television show I'm not even sure I like. The concept of a routine remembrance is echoed in the writings of 1000s of motivational, leadership, and inspirational authors. That is, the motivation to live out our core values, our purpose, must be cultivated on a day to day basis.

I realized I was spending too much time mindlessly watching a screen and not enough time typing on one. Too much time letting my mind wonder aimlessly and not enough time in focused meditation.

What are you spending too much time on? What aren't you spending enough time on?

I went through a process of internal wrestling in order to complete this very post. The thought to give it up and forget about it crossed my mind repeatedly. Writer's block came up again and again. I kept writing. Just one more word is what I told myself as I continued pressing my fingers into the keyboard.

This day, I choose to live out my core values. I choose to live them out even if it means engaging in an internal wrestling match. What do you choose?

The less we engage in this internal wrestling match, the less inspired we become. The alluring part of this entire concept is that the more we engage in the internal wrestling match of  living out our core values, the more we raise our levels of motivational energy. What can you do right now, this moment, to engage? Here's to staying engaged.


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